SpongeTommy SquarePickles: Professor Anger/Transcript
=Main= *''This article is a stub. You can help The Parody Wiki by expanding it.'' This is a transcript for SpongeTommy SquarePickles: Professor Anger. *(Title Card) *''to an outside view of the Highland Recital Hall. Inside, on the stage is Fear. Flowers are being thrown to him.'' *'Fear': Thank you. bows ''Thank you. ''catches a flower and sniffs it ''Ah. *in a sweater the same color as his usual shirt, watches, irritated, in the audience. A human next to him leans over him'' *'Music Lover': Isn't it grand? *'Anger': What is? *'Music Lover': He's such a great musician. He dosen't even have to touch an instrument to be brilliant! clarinet plays on a table besides Fear. He moves his arms towards it and the cheering of the crowd gets louder *'Anger': Alright, I've had enough! stands up and walks out Bunch of nonsense! *'Marlin': Why, here he comes now. *'Dory': gasps ''It ''is ''him! *'Anger': Huh? *'Dory': Aren't you the esteemed Fear the Third, who we all came here to see perform tonight? *'Anger': No, I am not, nor would I ever want to be! I am quite content being Anger. *'Dory': Oh, dear. Well, that's too bad. *'Anger': Why? *'Dory': Because I'm head matron at an esteemed musical college in town and thought if you ''were Fear, I would offer you the high-paying and prestigious opportunity to come there and teach your very own music class. *'Anger': My very own music class? Did you say "Fear?" *'Dory': Yes. *'Anger': I'm... Fear. *'Dory': But didn't you just say a minute ago that your name was Anger? *'Anger': It is... No, I mean, uh, no, no, I didn't! *'Dory': Well, that's a relief. I mean, what kind of a moron would go to their worst enemy's music recital? *'Marlin': A very pathetic one. that's whom. laugh *'Anger': to laugh ''Oh. *'Dory': Well, good evening, Professor Fear. *'Anger': Who? Ha, um, uh, and good evening to you as well. ''off *'Marlin': Hmm, music types. *'Dory': Ooh, they're so strange. *''to Anger's music teaching lesson building. Inside, Anger, wearing a large white curly wig, enters the classroom'' *'Anger': throat ''Good evening, students. Now, our first... *'Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail': Good evening, Professor. *'Anger': As I was saying, our first... *puts his hand up'' *'Anger': Yes? *'Benny': Aren't you gonna write your name on the board like most professors do? *'Anger': My-my name? What for? *'Benny': Well, you know, it just seems like teachers usually write their names on the board the first day of class. *'Anger': sighs ''Why don't ''you come write your name on the board? We'll see how you like it. *'Benny': Okay. *''walks up to the board and writes his name'' *'Anger': There, now how does that feel, Benny? *'Benny': Okay, I-I guess. *'Anger': Good. Now, why don't you take your seat and stop poking your nose into other people's business?! walks back to his seat ''Now, if we can go for five minutes without having any further interruptions. I would like to... *'Tommy Pickles': ''and pointing at Anger ''Hey, look! It's An... ''quickly puts his hand over Tommy's mouth, cutting off the rest of his speech *'Anger': Fear, everybody, he was about to say "Fear!" *'D.W. Read': Oh, uh, oh, actually, I think he was about to say An... puts his other hand over D.W.'s mouth and D.W. mumbles *'Anger': nervously ''Didn't you two nincompoops know? I had my name legally changed to Fear. And you are to refer to me only as Professor Fear from now until the end of time. Now blink twice so I know you understand. ''and Tommy blink twice ''Okay, good. ''blinks one more time ''Hey, she blinked three times! *'Tommy Pickles': Wow. Only eight minutes in and we've been already been given a math quiz. Very advanced music class, huh, D.W.? *'D.W. Read': I'll say. *'Anger': Would you two numb skulls mind telling me what you're doing in music class anyway? *'Tommy Pickles': Sure! D.W.'s New Year's resolution was to learn to play an instrument! *'Anger': You told me your resolution was to sign up for an all natural slimming, toning, and increased muscle mass program! *'D.W. Read': It was. I traded with Tommy. *'Tommy Pickles': And I have been really happy with the results. See? ''his muscular leg to Anger *'Anger': Wow, those are impressive results. *''to later in the classroom'' *'Anger': throat ''As you may not be aware, music is a... ''Pickles giggles ''Music is a... ''Pickles giggles ''Music is a complicated series of... ''Pickles giggles ''Is a complicated series of notes that when played in the... ''Pickles giggles. Anger stomps up to him ''Tommy, do you mind?! There are other people here besides you, you know. And I don't think they appreciate you depriving them of my wisdom! *'Tommy Pickles': ''sighs ''I'm sorry, Professor Fear. ''Pickles winks at Anger ''D.W. here keeps tickling my foot. *'D.W. Read': No way! He's making that up! It was him! *'Anger': You expect me to believe he was tickling himself? *'D.W. Read': You better tell him, Tommy. *'Tommy Pickles': Alright, it was me. *'Anger': You were tickling yourself? *'Tommy Pickles': Mm hmm! *'Anger': How? *'Tommy Pickles': Like this. ''up of him rubbing his feet together. Tommy Pickles bursts out laughing and continuously rubs his feet together *'Anger': Alright, that's enough! *''to show the students now in a straight line, with Tommy Pickles and D.W. Read at both ends'' *'Anger': There. Now as I was saying, music is a series of complex... Pickles laughs ''Tommy, I told you to stop tickling yourself! *'D.W. Read': Actually, that time, it really was me. *looks baffled. translitions to later.'' *'Anger': Now, I'm going to put some notes on the chalkboard. goes to the board and draws a staff. D.W. Read starts whispering to Tommy Pickles ''Exuse me? Is there something you'd like to share with the rest of the class? *'D.W. Read': Uh-uh. *'Anger': Go on, you've already interrupted once. You might as well tell us what was so very important. *'D.W. Read': Well, I was just saying that these lines you drew remind me of a railroad track. *'Anger': I have never heard anything more insipid, insane, uninteresting, or irrelevant! *'D.W. Read': Well, actually there ''was a railroad convention in town last week, and I've bought myself this nifty conductor's cap. takes out the hat and puts it on *'Anger': I have never seen a more ridiculous looking outfit on top of anybody's head, anywhere! *'D.W. Read': Well, I don't know. Suits my needs. *'Anger': What else did you buy at this convention? Your very own locomotive? laughing. D.W. Read pulls out a toy train. *'D.W. Read': Yes. *'Anger': Ha! Ha! Ha! What the...? *''Read, now shrunk down to the train's size, climbs into the train, toots the horn and drives the train on a track going past by Tommy Pickles and the other students. It then goes into what appears to be a tunnel which is then shown to be a garbage can being held by Anger. Anger then takes the can outside and dumps it with the other cans, then goes back inside'' *'Anger: '''Now, where were... ''D.W. Read back in her seat ''...we? *to later'' *'Anger': This is what's known as a metronome. *'Tommy Pickles': Hey, my mom has one of those in her garden! *'D.W. Read': Oh, no, Tommy, that was a garden gnome. *'Anger': throat ''Anyway, the metronome helps us keep time. *starts the metronome and it starts ticking. Tommy Pickles and D.W. Read suddenly start staring at the metronome as though they are in a trance. They start swaying to the rhythm'' *'Tommy Pickles and D.W. Read': Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick... *'Anger': Do you mind? don't respond ''Is there something seriously wrong with your HEADS?! *'Tommy Pickles': My whole life has been pointing in one direction. *'D.W. Read': I see that now. There's never been any choice for me. *'Anger': Would you two nincompoops cut it out?! Or am I gonna... *on the door. A news reporter and a cameraman enter the classroom'' *'Flik': Hello! We're with the local Highland News Channel. I'm a reporter. gasps and neatens his wig ''We're here to conduct an interview with the esteemed musical genius Fear from Inside Out. *looks baffled'' *'Tommy Pickles and D.W. Read': Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick... *'Anger': Please ignore them. *'Flik': Are those students of yours? *'Anger': Nope, they're just morons. Come on, you two, snap out of it! *'Flik': They appear to be in some type of trance. A case of genuine hypnosis like this makes a much hotter scoop. *'Anger': Hotter? Scoop?! *'Flik': Well, it's the sort of thing that borders on the paranormal. Our viewers just eat that stuff up. *'Anger': Paranormal?! The only thing paranormal around here is how fast I'm gonna make you two disappear! starts pushing the reporter and cameraman out of the room *'Flik': Don't blame me. Blame the market. slams door. A bell rings and Tommy Pickles and D.W. Read jolt as though they have woken up *'Tommy Pickles': Wha...? Where am I? I felt like I was in some sort of horrible trance. eyes narrow angrily *'Anger': You wanna know what happened? *'Tommy Pickles and D.W. Read': Okay! *'Anger': You once again managed to single-handedly annihilate what might be the one and only chance I may ever get to sew just one tiny seed of creative hope into the culturally barren wasteland that each and every one of us is forced to call home! *'Diego': Actually, I've been commuting from upstate. *'Anger': Now, I do suppose you two have anything to say for yourselves? *'Tommy Pickles': Well, I guess if I was to say one thing, it would have to be: We're sorry, Anger. looks horrified *'D.W. Read': Yeah, we're sorry, Anger. *'Anger': frantic No, no, no, no, no! Shh shh shh... *'Diego': Hey, did those guys just call you Anger? *'Anger': frantic No, no, no, no, no! They said "Fear!" *'Steve': Oh! I knew this guy was phony from minute one! I'm gettin' outta here. *'Diego': Yeah, me, too! I'm gonna get my tuition back! *'Anger': No! Wait! walks to the door and Anger blocks it NO! You're not going anywhere! *''door is smashed open and several police kids run in. Anger, who has flattened against the wall by the door, is grabbed by them'' *'Anger': Wha-What's going on here? *'Timmy Turner': Sorry, Professor, your little symphony is over. *'Dory': It's true. We're onto your little ruse! reporter and cameraman are there too *'Flik': What a hot scoop! *'Dory': The real Fear, as we all know, has a small curly piece of hair just at the top of his purple head! points to Fear's hair *'Anger': But... *''Neutron takes Anger's wig off'' *'Jimmy Neutron': No piece of hair. Anger from Inside Out, I'm placing you under arrest for impercinating a genius. *''is handcuffed and taken away by the police. Tommy Pickles takes out the metronome, starts it, and he and D.W. Read start swaying to the rhythm again'' *'Tommy Pickles and D.W. Read': Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick... *End. 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